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March 27, 2010 - 12:08 pm

On Monday I finally got an appointment to see my doctor (she's on leave so there's a sub who only has morning hours, making appointments more difficult). I had a painful lump in my breast so she made an appointment for me at the rapid breast clinic for the next day. So I had a mammogram and then was told I needed an appointment for an ultrasound the next day. The mammogram wasn't as uncomfortable as I had imagined it would be, but I certainly didn't look down to see how flat my boob was actually getting squished.

After the ultrasound, they decided that it should be biopsied. So I came in the next day for the needle. Now this was uncomfortable even though the doctor and the tech were super nice and gave me lots of good information. It took forever to get a good sample of cells (out of the 6 tries, they figure only one was good enough), so hopefully I won't have to go back and get re-poked. The "mass" bent the needle which made things difficult and according to the doctor this is a good sign since benign lumps are the tough ones. I won't find out the results for another 5 days, so I'm seriously freaking out.

After the appointment, I went with C to Cascade for burgers and beers and we met up with friends. It was good to take my mind off things and laugh, but now I'm back to a bundle of immense sadness. Yesterday I took a walk around the neighbourhood and was almost in tears at times. I just feel such heaviness and I can't seem to shake it off.

Sorry that this diary is such a downer but that's what secret diaries are for. At least for me.

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