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April 07, 2004 - 8:14 am

work has been good this week. it was busy but i somehow managed to do everything with a bit of flair. or something. going home to work on my freelance project in the evenings was another matter entirely. i have to work on a logo for a mother and bab1es p1lates studio and they don't even have a name yet, but want a graphic logo that organically conveys growth, movement and bonding. logos are not my strong suit and logos with a tight deadline make me stress. when i start designing their website i'll have no problems...i already have lots of ideas, but this logo-business is driving me mad.

in the middle of all my feelings of worthlessness and no-talent-hack, meesoo called me all high. he's a good high-talker. meesoo was the first person i met in vancouver. i said hello to him at a wedding present show and then he came to my workplace the next day and we found out that not only were we the same age, but had both come from the same city and were in the same film classes together at university. it must have been fate or something because we've been close ever since.

back to my rambling story.....he called at the right time. he's feeling bad about his own creative struggles and his overwhelming debt as a semi-successful local video artist and i'm feeling bad about my own lack of creativity. he reminded me of all the things that i have done that i don't really give much thought to and of all the things i could be doing. it was good to hear and good to laugh and think up possibilities. there is a lot of things that i want to do. could it be possible that i could quit one of my jobs and work from home doing crafty projects? cornelius is in no position to help me financially and i've only got a few months of savings in the bank. freelance jobs are spotty -- either feast or famine. should i go to art school and do a degree program in design or just take a few needed courses. i dunno. anyway, all this thinking is not helping me with that frigging logo. grrrrrr.

why is it that it is always other people that can see your potential? why is it so hard to recognize it within yourself? did you know that a couple years ago i was listed on cbc radio3 as one of 24 young creative canadians? i don't put much stock into such arbitrary things, but now i'm feeling old and in a creative slump that i desperately need to get out of. with that note, here is a short short video i did a few years ago called 29 n' feeling fine when i must have been full of optimism...or maybe that was just irony.

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