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January 15, 2002 - 9:16 a.m.

i was at school until two am last night and i put together a very rough cut of my documentary. whooo! as a treat to myself i had planned to sleep in. no luck. and i'm still sick! achoo.

on sunday night i went out on another date with the oliver platt boy. it was a very spur of the moment kind of thing. it was seven pm and i was bored. i called him up and he made all the plans for later that evening. he picked me up in a cab (it's crazy but true, especially since he lives downtown and i live on the eastside and our date took place back downtown!) and we went out for drinks at the empire landmark hotel's 50th floor revolving piano bar, 'cloud nine'. the oliver platt boy was even wearing a suit! (he did look pretty cute). it was so 'datey'. actually, it was so highschool datey that it was funny and cheezy and we had huge amounts of fun. after the lounge had spun us 360 degrees around the city, we left and snapped poloroids while running up and down robson street. as i had school the next morning, we got back into a cab (yes, again, he accompanied me back to the eastside. the gentlemanly manners on this boy!) and he dropped me off back at home shortly before one am. it was a very fun evening.

so after this date i had to rethink my position on the oliver platt boy. the next morning there was another wonderful email in my mailbox. i had to let him know how i felt about him in my uncertain terms. i emailed him back and told him that i did like him tho i wasn't sure exactly how but that i am definitely warming up to his charms. slowness is key. he emailed back and said that he is willing to accept my terms. hooray! slowness is good.

i have realized that i don't want a serious boyfriend. i'm too busy with school and keeping myself happy to be concerned with all the stuff that comes with a serious relationship. it is hard having a boyfriend. with ryan, i had to put up with his moodiness and i always put huge efforts into making sure that he was happy. i was always concerned about how he was feeling and how he was handling life. when he'd be moody, i'd secretly think, "is it me?". all that stuff does not bode well. that stuff takes time and is work and eventually does not make for a happier me. sure, there are all the good perks for being in a relationship (ah, the sex, the kissing, the love....sigh), but right now all i want to be concerned about is me. i'm selfish and i love it. i can honestly say that i am feeling incredibly positive about who i am and what i can acheive with my life. i have goals and ambitions and i am happy with the person i am. and one day, love will follow.

song for the morning: you're pretty good looking (for a girl), the white stripes

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