March 03, 2009 - 2:07 pm
i called my mom today and she couldn't talk at all. she just mumbled out "mmm" sounds, no words. i've got to find out if she's on new medication or if she's now really declining. my dad was there at the hospital when i called but he didn't have much to say to me and he sounded really sad. he said he'd send me an email later to let me know more. i want to call my brother to see what's going on.
i've been finding it really hard to call my mom on a daily basis so i don't. i only call about twice a week now where my dad and my brother are by her side every day. i feel so guilty about not doing it because it is so so so hard talking to her or talking at her since she can't really communicate any more. now, it's going to be even harder. i need to find strength or at least a better invention than the phone to communicate with her. maybe i should take a cue from rue-madame and just hop on the plane and go back again.