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December 15, 2005 - 8:04 am

Last night I had a freak-out. Our place was a mess and disorganized and I hated every inch of the apartment. I was so frustrated with the endless cleaning and tidying that I actually jumped up and down in a fit of childish behaviour. Yup, not one of my better moments. We did attempt a midnight tidying up and our place looks a lot better this morning that it did last night. Plus, our Christmas tree is up and shiny with lights and stinking up the place with it's pine-fresh smell. How can I be mad at Christmas? Oh yes, I have a million things that need to get done and I have very little time to get it all done. This morning, I will start making my candy cane white chocolate bark and my mixed nuts dark chocolate bark, as I have another client xmas luncheon to attend and bringing treats seems like a nice gesture. I also have cards to cut, fold, address and mail out and more bird pins to make out of felt. Shit buckets!!!

This weekend, C had a huge asthma attack. He ran out of one of his meds and couldn't really do much for 3 days, including sleep, ride a bike or walk about. While he was at work, I decided to tackle dusting, and removing mildew and mold from the windows, but things didn't help until he got a new prescription on Monday. I hated our apartment this weekend and I guess that is where last night's frustration started from. It seems silly to move when we've got the best rent deal in this city, but our apartment has a mildew/mold problem which doesn't help C's asthma and our landlord turns off all heat during the day (& I work at home) and our apartment is 400 square feet of tiny. It's not ideal, but we are saving to buy one day (in the far, far, faraway future) and it seems silly to shell out more than double in rent, but at the same time I hate scrimping and scrounging. I've done it my entire life and I'm tired of it.

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