April 20, 2004 - 10:08 am
after i had written yesterday mornings entry, i was about to get into my brown tweed skirt and put on my pink shirt when i got a call from work saying i didn't need to come in because there wasn't much on the docket. no work yesterday and last night i got an email saying no work again today. i'm usually not a depressed person, but yesterday i felt horrible. i was in my own personal panic and couldn't focus nor could i gather any strength to figure out any options. i have freelance work to do, but yesterday i couldn't do any of it. i just felt horrible and cursed the largest, sorest pimple ever that had sprouted below my bottom lip. i thought i could just get a new haircut and all would be better in the short term, but the pimple foiled my plans. really, how could i feel better when a monsterous pimple was overtaking my face?
late last night, in a way to salvage the night, i turned a pair of green cords into a green cord skirt. i also applied for a job that i probably won't get, but it's the first job i've applied to since november. it's a start, i guess.
so today i'm going to try to do the freelance work i should be doing. i won't get side-tracked by the book i'm reading or those stupid shows on TLC. but what i really want to do is stick my head under the covers and go back to bed. i'm not a napper (except when nap is a codeword for sex) but somehow it just feels like the right thing to do.