August 02, 2003 - 10:58 am
i'm baking a peach/raspberry/blueberry crumble in the oven right now. the smell is overwhelmingly delicious. we're taking it to c's family gathering. i'm not used to all of this family business. my immediate family is small and not very social....they don't like gatherings. it's the complete opposite of cornelius' family -- it seems there's something going on every few weeks and it just scares me. i guess i'm not very family oriented.
my mom has a huge family....french-canadian catholic. in the summers as kids, me and my brother and my mom would head into the quebec wilderness to my grandparents cottage on a lake. my dad wouldn't come -- he's the anti-social one. we would swim and drink beer (yes, i'd have a small glass as a child and it was very exciting), have barbeques and pick framboise. i've never been that great at speaking french, but i understand most things. i guess it's cuz i was very shy as a kid and wouldn't speak very much to all of the family members that i only saw once a year....but boy, i could sure listen. when we got older, my brother and i didn't want to go to quebec to spend our summers there anymore, so we left our mom at the train station and that was that. my dad's family, on the other hand, lived in our same city and were just plain weird. we didn't see them very often and when we got older, we never saw them at all.
so i guess, i'm not really comfortable with all of this family business. my ex-boyfriend's parents loved me and considered me their daughter and in fact still contact me to chat. they were very welcoming and although it was nice to feel that family stuff it still felt a bit awkward. and now that i am a part of c's family i still have that same ambivilance about family gatherings. it scares me that i have to spend christmas and holidays with people other than my friends. i guess that is just a part of growing up i suppose.
anyway, i'm off to spend about 8 hours (!!!) with a family and i guess i'm going to have to get used to it.