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February 23, 2003 - 7:18 pm

i realized that it will be me and the boy's 6 month anniversary on february 29. the weird thing is, there is no february 29.

as i have bronchitis and have nothing to do but cough profusely and wear pyjamas all day, i have gone back to re-reading old journal entries and emails about and from my boy. and how i fell madly in love with him. as i read these old passages, i wished i would have documented more. in my mind i remember the day i decided that i loved him. i remember walking back from chinatown and how i decided to put his hand in mine when we walked around his strathcona neighbourhood. i remember feeling giddy and alive and keeping everything in cuz i wasn't ready to let him know how much i really did feel for him. i remember smelling his body and feeling how i felt in his arms. i remember being constantly shocked at how i felt about someone that i had known for such a long time as just a good friend.

it's not that i'm searching for some kind of proof or detail that i feel is missing. not at all. i guess it's just that i feel those memories are precious and i still feel so close to them and i don't want time to take them away. i wish i could be the harry smith of my love life: the perfect documentarian collector.

last night the boy came over with a mixed cd he made for me. it was amazing. it started with the ink spots ('i don't want to set the world on fire') who the boy thinks is the most romantic band in the world. most of the songs on the mix are songs that we've listened together on past occasions and is mostly old gospel/blues/jazz/funk stuff. stuff like screamin' jay hawkins, james 'sugar boy' crawford, lionel hampton, james brown, jean knight, the dixie hummingbirds, dion and the belmonts. we danced and necked through the entire mix. the only thing it needed was sam cooke. but who am i to complain?

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