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September 27, 2002 - 7:11 am

i don't know how often i'll be updating from toronto. i mean, there is a mac wth my name on it at the ad agency, but i don't think filling in entries on diaryland is exactly why they are paying me $35/hr. there is also a mac at my friends' apartment where i'll be staying, but i am a horrible houseguest (or maybe, the best kind). i don't like to overstay my welcome, so i'll probably spend most of my time watching matinees after work and looking for shoes until the shops close. and of course, i'll have to take them out for a fancy dinner (but not too fancy cuz i am still broke until i get paid). they really are too kind, my friends. i'll be staying with them for at least a week this time and then i'll be staying with them for a month in november. i don't want them hating me.

but really, that is the least of my problems. i mean, what if i totally fuck up at my new job? what do i know about being a designer? all they saw of me is my online portfolio and did a 45 minute chatty interview. they don't really know me. i'm not that good. and i don't think i am $35 an hour good -- i mean, i've never been that good in my life! i'm sure it's just nerves that are talking, but i am really kinda nervous. what if they hate me. what if i don't look the part. what if they are all boy snowboarders who are into extreme sports? these are my fears. but maybe that is what web designers are like here in vancouver. all i know of toronto is drinking, eating and shoe shopping (and that's okay with me). and i am also worried that if i like the job and they like me, that i will have to move there. i don't know if i can handle that. i have so many good friends here and i love my apartment and i am just in a new relationship and things are just going swimmingly! it's unreal of me to think about moving again. especially to toronto. which is too close to london ontario where my parents are. that's the biggest fear.

anyway, i am off to the hair school to get my hair dyed by students. students!! so in hopes that i get a good dye-on, i'll leave you with this little nugget of goodness: takako minekawa's maxi on.

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