May 03, 2002 - 9:25 am
it's funny how out of control i feel. right now, it feels like, the only things that contribute to my state of mind are the weather and my hormones. like i said in a previous entry, i'm quite unfamiliar with my hormones and the fluxes that seem to take over my body....i've never experienced pms before or anything! now, i'm a quivering mess every month. curses! yesterday was a bad day that i'm sure directly resulted out of this new monthly pattern and also because of the weather. cold, dark and miserable. it just made things worse. i hung out with my old friend kelly in the morning and then kyla and randy came over to watch basketball later in the evening. i even went out for a beer later with cornelius. i'm not without human contact, yet i still felt alone and sad.
but there is hope. today the sun is shining brightly and the coffee pot is brewing. i will eat my vanilla yoghurt with some frozen blackberries and feel good about starting my day. i will even listen to music today. so, i'm being controlled by external factors....i can drift for a bit longer. can't i?
best soap ever: belle de provence.