February 03, 2002 - 6:55 p.m.
what makes this damn diary so fucking desirable? i mean, fuck! is everybody reading it now? ryan and/or sara has read and re-read and re-re-read this diary all fucking day. i don't give a shit about sara but i do care very much about ryan and i don't want them reading my diary. more than half of my diary has to do with my feelings about ryan and working out our break-up. it was a really shitty time and tho i've gotten over it and feel incredible about my life now, it still is hard knowing that he/they would stoop so low to read something so personal. fuck. they can buy the zine when it comes out.
sure my diary is online. it is part of the public domain. i have a guest book. i love that people are reading my diary. i encourage readership. but i love that an caring online community is reading my diary. i don't want people who i know in real life to be reading my diary. actually, that is not true. i have sent friends links to my diary, but i have certainly never invited sara or ryan to read this. this is not for them. this is for me. i don't want them fucking sneaking around and reading behind my back. fuck.