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January 18, 2002 - 5:23 p.m.

somewhere along the line i have become a bit manic. it crept up slowly, disguised as happiness. disguised as giddiness. disguised as contentment. but somewhere along the line, it just started to fall apart.

all week long i have been in a constant state of goodness. i have never been happier. i giggle. i smile at strangers. i talk non-stop to acquaintences. i jump up and down because there is a sun shining brightly in the sky. in short, i have become a moron. it is true that i have finally found immense pleasure out of school. i love what i am doing! i scream it loudly from the mountain tops! hooray! making documentaries! editing! premiere6! it's an unbelievable feeling. and because i have found the love for the work, i have neglected other necessary things to manage as a human being. sleep. water. nutrients. clean laundry. all are vital elements that i have been sadly lacking.

it is true that when i become involved with my school projects, things can fall to the wayside. but, now that there is actual love for the work that i am accomplishing i am on a giddy high. crashing and burning will happen soon enough.

today i had a few hours between classes, so i decided to come home for lunch (since funds are low) and nap. i did neither. i searched the fridge but 1 didn't want to eat carrots or chocolate (neglect #18: groceries) and i certainly didn't feel like cooking. i also tried to nap, but just danced around my kitchen to my new mixed cd (courtesy of bryan. thanks!!). i talked on the phone and checked email. and no sooner than later, it was time to head back to school for advanced flash. i cut out from class a half hour early so that i could be home before the sun went down in order to film kyla outside for part of my documentary. when i got home there was a message that delayed my plans. i broke down and almost cried. manic i tell you. i am a moron.

tonight i will eat. drink water. and have a friday with kyla, randy and patsy. hooray! tommorrow things will be back to normal. well, at least i won't be so much of a moron. and tommorrow, my documentary will be done. then i will be giddy and gigglely and all smiles for real.

today's nutritional intake: 4 cups of coffee (with cream). one orange segment given to me by stuart. one individual sized bottle of cranberry juice.

i plan to go shopping very, very soon.

song for the day: bonnie and clyde, serge gainsbourg.

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