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October 29, 2001 - 9:56 p.m.

right now i'm finishing the last bit of packing. i am clearing out of here. i will start anew.

earlier tonight ryan cleared out the last of his things. the only thing of his that i kept were a pair of his old puma sneakers (after all, we do wear the same size shoe).

people are always telling me that it will get easier. once he moves out, you'll feel better. once every trace of his being is out of your life, then you'll feel better. when you move into your own place, then you'll feel better.

uhm. when will i start feeling better?? when will things start to get easier? when will i stop being in love with him?

does anyone have the answer???

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